What am I waiting for?
Someone to prove to me I’m worthy?
Someone to heal all of my problems
And make the world disappear?
Even if I found love
It now seems so trivial
So unnecessary and inconsequential
To what I’m doing here.
Relationships can be a blessing
But also what a load they bear
That is no longer the answer
There’s something more
That needs to happen here.
A change in heart
In perspective and motivation
A change in my view of the world
And a decrease of selfish expectation
Live to be satisfied
Or live to be sanctified
Serve self or serve me
Not every day is comfortable
In discomfort, rely on my peace
Reaching for answers that aren’t there
Wondering if my wishes will vanish with the wind
Trying to make sense of the madness around me
Wondering what picture I fit in
Trying to grab hold of pleasures that pass me
To celebrate love and warm hearts
Distracted by horror stories, fears and theories
Unable to decide how true they all are
Building strength to stand on my convictions
With limited info to decide what those should be
Working day to day just to earn a living
Wondering if this is all that will become of me
At what point in time will the big picture be clear
When will we know what we chose to believe was right
I guess not until the ever after
So we keep saying our prayers every night
You steered me into the storm
On my trusty boat I went
But the winds picked up
Soon flailing overboard
All my senses spent
This was the way to go?
Why on such a rough sea?
Isn’t there a smoother path
Somewhere designed for me?
But the wind against my sails
Taught me a lesson or two
Gave me new strength and courage
And pointed me straight to you
I need a vail
Need some privacy
As I figure out
Who I want to be
Then I can be me
Without apology
Christian Poetry, Thoughts & Analogies 